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Over the Thanksgiving holiday, Andrew and I had some time to reflect on our first four (almost five) months of marriage. Months one and two were a struggle, but towards month three we found our new “Johnson rhythm”. One of the main things, after God’s love, that set us up for success was establishing the most important marital expectations.
They say one of the biggest reasons for problems in relationships are unmet expectations. So before we married, Drew and I sat down and outlined our expectation of each other and our marriage. The major topics we discussed were: love, family, friends, finances, and household responsibilities. Each topic had smaller sub-topics we discussed in depth. Our conclusions are recorded in a document, and they can be changed at any times as long as we communicate with one another. Taking the time to acknowledge each other’s expectations is so important, especially in the beginning. I believe that making the effort to communicate in the early stages saved us from many misunderstandings and gave us some guidance to fall back on.
Over the next five weeks, I’ll be diving into the five marital expectation topics in depth: love, family, household responsibilities, friendship, and finances. I hope you and your (future) spouse take the time to truly listen to one another on these issues. There is truth, love, grace, and growth to be found in this exercise. I think it is a great way to begin a new marriage or develop an established union.
With lots of love,