How to Establish the Most Important Marital Expectations Series

How To Establish the Most Important Marriage Expectations Intro

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Over the Thanksgiving holiday, Andrew and I had some time to reflect on our first four (almost five) months of marriage. Months one and two were a struggle, but towards month three we found our new “Johnson rhythm”. One of the main things, after God’s love, that set us up for success was establishing the most important marital expectations.

Marital Expectations

They say one of the biggest reasons for problems in relationships are unmet expectations. So before we married, Drew and I sat down and outlined our expectation of each other and our marriage. The major topics we discussed were: love, family, friends, finances, and household responsibilities. Each topic had smaller sub-topics we discussed in depth.  Our conclusions are recorded in a document, and they can be changed at any times as long as we communicate with one another. Taking the time to acknowledge each other’s expectations is so important, especially in the beginning. I believe that making the effort to communicate in the early stages saved us from many misunderstandings and gave us some guidance to fall back on.

Over the next five weeks, I’ll be diving into the five marital expectation topics in depth: love, family, household responsibilitiesfriendship, and finances. I hope you and your (future) spouse take the time to truly listen to one another on these issues. There is truth, love, grace, and growth to be found in this exercise. I think it is a great way to begin a new marriage or develop an established union.

With lots of love,

Jazmen Johnson

14 Uplifting Scriptures for a Joyous Day

Start your day off right

The first few moments of your day can easily set the tone for what’s to come. As women we have so much to deal with; some of it rewarding, and some of it stressful (to say the least). At times we need reminders to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world, Matthew 5:13-16. So at the beginning of your day, it can be tremendously helpful to read God’s word and speak truth and love over your life.

With that in mind, I have put together a list of 14 encouraging scriptures I find helpful when I start my day. However, these verses can easily be prayed or recited throughout your day to remind yourself of whose you are. You are a daughter of the almighty God. He loves you beyond measure, and nothing will ever change that. The Lord has placed you here for a unique purpose, be encouraged in Him.

14 uplifting scriptures for a joyous day

14 Uplifting Scriptures for a Joyous Day
Be strong in the Lord, do not fear

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

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7 Easy Ways To Achieve Victory Over Your Mouth (Part II)

Last week I shared 3 Ways Your Mouth Can Absolutely Ruin Your Relationship. This week we’ll wrap up the “Your Mouth” series with Part II, 7 Easy Ways To Achieve Victory Over Your Mouth. I’m sharing tips and strategies I’ve learned from the Lord’s word, personal experience, and relationship books about guarding your lips. However, guarding your lips should be plan B when it comes to lip treatment in your marriage. So what should we be doing first and foremost?

Nurture the Relationship That Comes First

I’ll be married for four months in about two weeks, how crazy is that!? Well, it may not be crazy to you, but it’s a little surreal for me.  I wish I could say that these first few months of marriage have been completely blissful, but if I’m being 100% honest…they haven’t been. Not to say we haven’t had wonderful times, but we’re definitely still growing as a couple and getting to know one another. Hence the fact that I’m able to share the 7 strategies below with you all. I wish I had been more patient, kind, and selfless in these elementary stages. But I can’t go back now. However, I can share things I wish I had done since hindsight is 20/20.

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3 Ways Your Mouth Can Absolutely Ruin Your Relationship (Part I)

3 Ways To Ruin Your Marriage with Your Mouth - pinterest image

 

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” John 1:19 (NIV).

Do you have a big mouth? Are you constantly upsetting your significant other with your impulsive words? Or does the pettiness flow freely from your lips? If so this post is for you my dear. Below you’ll find my personal testimony about the mouth, and 3 ways it can absolutely ruin your relationship. This is part one of two-part series on our mouths, so be sure to subscribe! You’ll be the first to know when part two is published!

I Know I’m Not the Only One

My husband, Drew, and I attend a newlywed’s small group at our church every other Saturday. At the last session, this question went around the table, “What roadblocks can you identify that could steer your marriage off track?” After a few people spoke up about what they battle with I got up the courage to share something I struggle with daily: my mouth. As I went into detail on how I could be less impulsive, more sensitive, and slower to speak, I was met with nods and laughs from my fellow wives. So I know this isn’t just a personal problem. Especially in an age where speaking your mind and being outspoken is praised.

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Advice from a Newlywed: 4 Mistakes I Made in My Singleness

 

Pinterest image, Advice from a Newlywed: 4 Mistakes I Made in my Singleness

 

It’s not too long ago that I was putting my hands up to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. But now that I’m married, I’ve reflected on that time in my life and I’ve come to realize a few things. I’d like to share some new found wisdom with all the single gals. But before I dive into the 4 mistakes I made in my singleness, let me share a little of myself with you all.

Single girl, luke-warm life

My singleness remains a vivid memory to me still. For the majority of high school and college I was the quintessential single girl. I focused just enough on school to get good grades, but definitely enjoyed going out with friends, dating, and overall just “being in the mix”. During this time in my life I was living a “luke-warm” existence. While I knew of God, and claimed Jesus as my savior I was living in sin and focusing solely on pleasing my flesh.

After I left school and moved back home with my parents, it was then that God started to move in my life. I wish I could say upon moving home, I got my act together and got saved. However, that wasn’t the case. While I knew God was tugging at my spirit to come to Him, I was still too focused on what most worldly twenty-something females are focused on. Outward beauty, finding “the one”, having a good time, social media, and my budding career.

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Marriage Problems Or God Problems? 5 Ways to Surrender Your Marriage to God.

A Reality Check

“Most of the problems we experience in marriage stem from a lack of relationship with God, which means they are not really marriage problems. They’re God problems.” — Francis Chan and Lisa Chan, You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity Devotional from YouVersion. Interested in You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity, click here.

This quote from my daily devotional hit me like a ton of bricks! If I’m being completely honest here…I haven’t been focusing on the Lord. Between being a newlywed, full-time Medical Laboratory Scientist (MLS), new blogger, friend, daughter, and my many other roles I can definitely say that God’s been getting my leftovers. And unfortunately, I’ve seen the fruitlessness of living a life not truly focused on God.  It’s so easy for all of us to fall into cycles of overemphasizing other seemingly important areas of our lives. However, our God deserves to be put first over everything, and rightfully so.

For great is the Lord. He is to be given much praise. And He is to be honored with fear more than all gods” 1 Chronicles 16:25 (NLV).

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5 Books Every Couple Should Read Before Marriage

5 books Every Couple Should Read Before Marriage

 

Are you seriously dating or recently engaged? Do you have questions regarding marriage and where God fits into the big equation? Or perhaps you think you and your significant other have it all figured out. No matter where you are in your relationship with God or your partner I truly believe there is much to be learned before you say “I do”. With that being said, I’ve compiled a list of 5 books every couple should read before marriage!

Reading is one of the things my husband,  Drew, and I love to do, separately and together. We believe reading is a great way to learn crucial concepts, revisit forgotten ideas, and ultimately grow. God designed us to grow in many ways, particularly in spirit and mind, not simply to mature in age. “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” 1 Corinthians 13:11, New International Version (NIV).

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Welcome to A New Wive’s Tale

The Wedding Is Over, Now What
Hello and Welcome…

My name is Jazmen Johnson and I’d like to welcome you to my blog, A New Wive’s Tale!

The most frequently asked question I got after my wedding weekend was “Do you feel any different?” Initially, my response was no, but as the days have turned into weeks, and the weeks have turned into a couple of months I can definitely say I’ve changed my mind.

In all actuality, everything in my life has changed in one way or another now that I’m married. My daily routines, my expectations, and most importantly my heart, slowly but surely. One thing neither my husband nor I were prepared for was the cold hard truth; people are inherently selfish, imperfect, unsympathetic sinners. I say this not to give you the impression that my spouse and I are evil. I say this so you can see how we came to the realization that being married to someone else is extremely hard, even when you’re a Christian.

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